Never Have I Ever:

posted on Leap Day before.

Top 5 Things I've Never Done (that I want to do someday)
(not a comprehensive list)
(in no particular order)
1. Gone skydiving
2. Gone on a cruise
3. Ran an Ironman
4. Taught a class in my area of expertise
5. Kissed in the rain

Planning to knock a couple of those out this year.

Bonus non sequitur!
If you type "why" into google, the top two results are:
- why is the sky blue
- why is moonshine illegal

Whole lotta law-abiding hillbillies using google these days...

A Happy Anna Howard Shaw Day To Us All

Love and whatever.

The warmth

In my mouth.

That rush

Through my veins

Making my heart race

My pulse quicken

My head

Just a bit dizzy.

My legs are just a bit numb.

My tongue

Yearns for more

More of you

Right now.

Now.

I can’t wait anymore.

This is torture.

Seriously.

I’m in hell

Waiting for you.

I just want to shout

To this giant crowd of people

“How hard is it to make a latte, f*ckers?”

I love you, coffee.

Oh, Pamie.

IM Excerpt #3:

on space dramas and poop boots

me: whatcha up to?
Bea: NOT star trek!
me: is this, like, the...tv...show...?
Bea: Nono, an ACTUAL. STAR. TREK.
me: but...tv? not...the movie?
Bea: no
I'm in space. on a trek.
me: you're watching star trek. the tv show... WHO ARE YOU? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY BEA?
Bea: I'm watching Star Trek: Enterprise. It's the most recent TV show. It's pretty awesome.
me: (also, we watched star trek when i was little. i used to put my headband over my eyes and pretend i was the guy with the goggle-vision-thingies)
Bea: That's Star Trek: The Next Generation
That was the second show.
It went:
Star Trek
Star Trek: TNG
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Star Trek: Voyager
Star Trek: Enterprise
Enterprise was actually set before the original series. Which is why I'm watching it. It's about when they first went out into space.
I know what you're thinking. My response is: up yours.
me: I don't even know who you are.

--a few minutes later--

Bea: Right now the Enterprise is following a comet they discovered.
me: of course they are, sweetie
Bea: :(
me: :D
i'm just giving you crap - lots of people love that show
i just haven't seen it since i was about 7
Bea: It's funny. When you said crap, on the show, one of the officers was explaining to some Earth children what happens to the poop on the ship.
me: ...what DOES happen to the poop on the ship?
Bea: Goes through a matter changer thingy and its made into all manner of stuff.
me: such as?
Bea: Cases, boots, anything.
me: Gross! Poop boots? You've ruined shoes for me. Curse you, Star Trek.
Bea: But they change the matter itself. So it's not poop anymore.
me: But it was poop. I mean, how do you get over that? "Oh, these boots are such a lovely shade of green. Goodness me, SOMEone had some of that blue ice cream, didn't they!" HahamirthfultimesNO
Bea: hahahahahahahahahahaaaaaa
You're the best ever.
me: :)

2012: The New Year

Also: the number of abrasions I have on my body currently.

I know it's been awhile, but do you remember that list of travel plans I posted about last time? Yeah. That happened. And also, I figured why just post about that stuff when I can wait until something truly blog-worthy happens. Something like, oh, I don't know... getting attacked by a Labradoodle. But I'm getting ahead of myself. First, let me sum up:

Oct 23 - Soma Half Iron Triathlon: I did it! Despite being seriously undertrained thanks to all my coaching responsibilities, I finished nearly 40 minutes faster than my last Half Ironman. And, in a ridiculous coincidence, the city of Tempe recorded record high temperatures for the day, which, if you recall, is exactly what happened last time. Although this time it was 2 degrees hotter (98), so I had that going for me. Blurg.

Nov 4-6 - Blue Water Triathlon (coaching): They did it! Every single person on the Team crossed the finish line uninjured and happy, which is pretty much a coach's dream. I had so much fun coaching that group of people.

Nov 11-14 - FoCoCO: Fun times with htd! We kicked it awesome for a few days by climbing mountains and drinking beers and watching movies and stuff. We're pretty cool people.

Nov 20 - Ironman Arizona (volunteering): Volunteered all the livelong day, stopping only to get in the very first official workout of my training for Ironman Coeur d'Alene. Saw one of my many friends named Mike become an Ironman. Great day! (Although I went home exhausted at 10:30pm only to come to the sobering realization that when I do my IM, I'll probably still have miles and miles to "run" at that point in the race. Oy.)

Nov 24-29 - Fort Wayne: Thanksgiving with Aunnee, Heath, and Jon! Aunnee provided me with endless delicious food and libations, Jon and I did some godmother/godson bonding, and I got to see Heath preach at the church where he is now a real, live pastor; just your typical mirthful times.

Dec 2-4 - Walnut Creek: Spent the weekend with 60 people from around the country becoming a Tier 1 certified TNT triathlon coach. If you had told me five years ago that I would someday be a triathlon coach, I would have laughed in your face and returned to the ass-dent on my couch to sit some more. Life is kind of awesome sometimes.

Dec 9-11 - Las Vegas: Cassie and I traveled to Vegas to see The Lion King Broadway show. The show was as wonderful as I remembered, and exploring the Sin City nightlife made for an entertaining evening.

Dec 22-29 - Arizona, New Mexico, Colorado, Kansas, and Nebraska: I took the train home for Christmas! What a fun way to travel. I caught a shuttle from Phx to Flagstaff on Wednesday night, caught my train at 5am on Thursday, and chugged my way across the frozen landscape for the next 18 hours on the Southwest Chief. Aside from the hassle and the travel time, trains are SO the way to go. It was such a fun trip! We train-ed through sunrise and snowstorms and sunset and tiny towns and big cities.

All the old ladies got on in Albuquerque and kept me entertained all the way through New Mexico. Two of them were sitting in front of me and narrating what was happening at each stop we made, "Oh, look! Those men are shoveling snow. That girl has a purple suitcase. Well, there's a cowboy in a straw hat." My mom and my sister picked me up at midnight in Garden City, Kansas (because they're awesome) and we drove the remaining 5 hours home, rolling into the driveway just before 5am. What a trip. Then, there was the Christmas merriment, which included 6 adults, 1 hilarious 3-year-old, 1 magically-

hypoallergenic cat, and 1 cuddly beagle. I love my family. The final travel tally for the trip: Planes - 602 miles, Trains - 816 miles, Automobiles - 1132 miles

Dec 31 - My couch: Me + miniature bottle of champagne + Modern Family Season 2 = par-tay

Jan 1 - Just up the street: Really kicked the new year off right. I was out for my Sunday run and, long story short, I got bit by a labradoodle. On a leash. Being held by its owner. Who was too busy dicking around on his phone to pay attention to the aggressive beast at the end of the line. Jerks, the both of them. The tooth marks and bruises kicked off a week-long spate of accidental self-injuries, from wearing shoes that gave me 9 (NINE!) blisters to impaling my hand on the chainring on my bike, culminating in a pretty severe fall on a concrete sidewalk this past weekend (while Jerilyn was here visiting, because she's wonderful!) that busted up my knees, elbow, and other hand. In 3 1/2 days, I'm running a race that requires me to sign an actual death waiver. Based on my recent string of luck, I'm a little nervous...

Busy Busy Busy.

That's me.

The next two and a half months are going to be crazytown.

My upcoming weekends:

Oct 23 - Soma Half Iron Triathlon (racing)
Oct 28 - Remaining 2 wisdom teeth extracted [whimper]
Nov 4-6 - Blue Water Triathlon (coaching)
Nov 11-14 - FoCoCO to see my htd
Nov 20 - Ironman Arizona (volunteering)
Nov 24-29 - Fort Wayne to see A & H (& J!)
Dec 2-4 - San Francisco for TNT Coach Certification
Dec 9-11 - Las Vegas w/Cassie for The Lion King
Dec 17-18 - NOTHING!
Dec 22-29 - Nebraska for Christmas

Aaaaaand I'm spent.

Windchill Of Chocolate.

When the face.

Holy moly, this entertained me for a good half an hour tonight. You should try it. If you type your twitter handle into this webpage, it will predict your next tweet based on your previous tweets. Some of the highlights:

Heh. Six minutes of all kinds of coffee, do love these meetings. : Introduced the new thumb.

Super-lonely weekend thanks to 156 illustration files this afternoon, 29 hours in KS with a mattress.

Substitute spin instructor's playlist: We paused the WIND! ha! Let me think of plant detritus.

Just saw Steve Martin and onions. Windchill of chocolate. Mmm. Sitting on three hours Oh wait... No...

Just saw the Steep Canyon Rangers play video games. Favorite phrase, when the face.

FINALLY going to death in costume. Whaddaya think: Boho Beach Fabulous or dress shoes?

Done and Everything After. You know, HERE?

Teeth teeth teeth. [BAHAHAHA!]

Teeth teeth teeth teeth teeth teeth. [Holy laugh tumor, I'm not making this stuff up!]

Well hello there, floor.

Done and Everything After.

Willie Nelson + Coldplay + Chipotle + Factory Farming

It works like you wouldn't believe.


Good find, htd! Love it.