I am a Trader Joe's Lurker.
I love going to Trader Joe's. They have lots of really good, healthy food at reasonable prices. They also have a lot of really weird food. And one of my favorite things to do there is casually observe what other people buy. I like peeking in the cart of a mom there with her kids and seeing what she deems suitable sustenance for her wee ones. I like surreptitiously observing the athletic, healthy looking people and seeing what sorts of foods they stock up on. I like seeing which people buy the intensely organic stuff - like hormone-free gluten-free low-sodium vegan tofu veggie burgers (I just made that up. It could be real, though.) - and trying to determine if their hair is any shinier than mine is, normal hamburger consumer that I am. I like that my half gallon of milk has a label on it that says "Our cows just say Noooooooo" (because the milk is rBST free).
And they have these things called Gingeroos, which they bill as "chewy cookies with Crystallized Australian Ginger." Mmmm. They are delicious.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
It's Not Me, It's The Movies.
What a relief.
I read this article today about a study suggesting that a lot of modern relationships fail because of our media consumption - specifically, romantic comedies. Rom-coms, as they are apparently called in jolly ol' England, "promote unrealistic expectations when it comes to love." I shared this with my sister and the ensuing exchange can be found below.
HTD: WHAT?!?!?! You mean if I write my name and number on a $5 bill and use it to buy some gum from a newsstand, the man of my dreams ISN’T going to find it, and thus, find ME?!?! I thought that was just how it worked. Like, fo shiz.
ME: I know, RIGHT?? And if I meet some random guy in an internet chat room, he's going to turn out to be a scary, unwashed 48 year old who still lives in his mom's basement, and NOT the LOVE OF MY LIFE who is also rich and has a golden retriever?!? That's just crazy-talk!
HTD: And if I ditch my fiancé on our Valentine dinner, to rush to the top of the Empire State Building to meet the man I am TRULY destined to be with (and his son), the only person waiting for me will be some suicidal love-holiday reject?
ME: And if I become a shabby, environmentally- and socially-conscious corporate lawyer, I wouldn't be hired on to grudgingly cater to the every whim of an unbelievably handsome, rich, arrogant millionaire with a British accent and AMAZING HAIR who, even after he is witness to my intestinal distress following a bout of emotional binge-eating, gives up his company and his play boy ways just to be with me? You're saying he wouldn't look twice at me (let alone hire me), in spite of my sassy repartee and faux-homeliness? That's CRAZY.
HTD: And, ANNNND, you’re ACTUALLY telling me that if I become so successful a movie-trailer producer that I have to install a cutting room IN MY HOUSE, but the stress of said success (as a woman, naturally) and the ghosts of my family’s past leave me a hollow shell of a human who can’t cry but who, on occasion, has esophageal spasms, and I decide to trade homes with a complete stranger over a sketchy Google-found vacation site, let a stranger CLAIMING to be the homeowner’s brother into my rented digs, proceed to have sex with him, only to find he has two daughters and a dead wife – IF all of this takes place, he won’t fall in love with me despite my general blonde annoyingness and inability to act or--I stress it again--CRY!?!?! W. T. F.
ME: And, ANNNND, you're REALLY saying that if I harbor a years-long crush on a man who only sees me as a friend, but flirts with me JUST ENOUGH that I think I might still have a chance with him, he is NOT going to hop on an international flight and show up at the fabulous home I have rented site-unseen from a sketchy woman who found me on Google to tell me he can't imagine his life without me (yea though he is still engaged)? And you're telling me that even if that happened, I WOULDN'T magically get some gumption, just get over him already and immediately be asked out by the adorable film-score composer I just happened to meet almost immediately upon my arrival in this foreign location? NO. WAY.
Hee.
I read this article today about a study suggesting that a lot of modern relationships fail because of our media consumption - specifically, romantic comedies. Rom-coms, as they are apparently called in jolly ol' England, "promote unrealistic expectations when it comes to love." I shared this with my sister and the ensuing exchange can be found below.
HTD: WHAT?!?!?! You mean if I write my name and number on a $5 bill and use it to buy some gum from a newsstand, the man of my dreams ISN’T going to find it, and thus, find ME?!?! I thought that was just how it worked. Like, fo shiz.
ME: I know, RIGHT?? And if I meet some random guy in an internet chat room, he's going to turn out to be a scary, unwashed 48 year old who still lives in his mom's basement, and NOT the LOVE OF MY LIFE who is also rich and has a golden retriever?!? That's just crazy-talk!
HTD: And if I ditch my fiancé on our Valentine dinner, to rush to the top of the Empire State Building to meet the man I am TRULY destined to be with (and his son), the only person waiting for me will be some suicidal love-holiday reject?
ME: And if I become a shabby, environmentally- and socially-conscious corporate lawyer, I wouldn't be hired on to grudgingly cater to the every whim of an unbelievably handsome, rich, arrogant millionaire with a British accent and AMAZING HAIR who, even after he is witness to my intestinal distress following a bout of emotional binge-eating, gives up his company and his play boy ways just to be with me? You're saying he wouldn't look twice at me (let alone hire me), in spite of my sassy repartee and faux-homeliness? That's CRAZY.
HTD: And, ANNNND, you’re ACTUALLY telling me that if I become so successful a movie-trailer producer that I have to install a cutting room IN MY HOUSE, but the stress of said success (as a woman, naturally) and the ghosts of my family’s past leave me a hollow shell of a human who can’t cry but who, on occasion, has esophageal spasms, and I decide to trade homes with a complete stranger over a sketchy Google-found vacation site, let a stranger CLAIMING to be the homeowner’s brother into my rented digs, proceed to have sex with him, only to find he has two daughters and a dead wife – IF all of this takes place, he won’t fall in love with me despite my general blonde annoyingness and inability to act or--I stress it again--CRY!?!?! W. T. F.
ME: And, ANNNND, you're REALLY saying that if I harbor a years-long crush on a man who only sees me as a friend, but flirts with me JUST ENOUGH that I think I might still have a chance with him, he is NOT going to hop on an international flight and show up at the fabulous home I have rented site-unseen from a sketchy woman who found me on Google to tell me he can't imagine his life without me (yea though he is still engaged)? And you're telling me that even if that happened, I WOULDN'T magically get some gumption, just get over him already and immediately be asked out by the adorable film-score composer I just happened to meet almost immediately upon my arrival in this foreign location? NO. WAY.
Hee.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Whew!
That was a job.
If you're very observant, you will have already noticed that my archives now go back to mid-2004. I felt like consolidating my blogging history into one happy location, so I moved all my old Xanga posts over here. I'm sure there's some kind of nerd-code out there that would have done that all for me, but I couldn't find one. I made use of the trusty ctrl+c ctrl+v and copied and pasted my way to consolidated, organized, OCDtastic blog glory.
Now you can read about my Augusta days (including cadaver labs, pig surgeries, European vacations, and my Midwestern musings on living in the South) without ever having to leave Wandering Illustrator. I know. Dreams really can come true.
If you're very observant, you will have already noticed that my archives now go back to mid-2004. I felt like consolidating my blogging history into one happy location, so I moved all my old Xanga posts over here. I'm sure there's some kind of nerd-code out there that would have done that all for me, but I couldn't find one. I made use of the trusty ctrl+c ctrl+v and copied and pasted my way to consolidated, organized, OCDtastic blog glory.
Now you can read about my Augusta days (including cadaver labs, pig surgeries, European vacations, and my Midwestern musings on living in the South) without ever having to leave Wandering Illustrator. I know. Dreams really can come true.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
This And That
and the other thing.
CFLs: do not work in my living room light fixture. They flicker and flash like it's some kind of roller-disco rave all up in here. (it isn't) What the heck is up with that? They're even the ones that are supposed to be flicker-free. I've tried two different brands already. I want to be able to put my ladder away.
13.1: miles, that is. I did the P.F. Chang's Rock 'n' Roll Arizona Half Marathon (now there's a title for you) this past Sunday. My cousin drove down from Flagstaff and filled in the slot reserved for the still-recovering htd. We trekked the 13.1 together and had a pretty darn good time. And now I am sore.
Games: namely, Speed Uno (which apparently Bea calls Killer Uno, which was the starting point for the unimaginably complicated World War Uno) and Cranium Pop 5 (it's kind of like regular Cranium, but all the questions have to do with popular culture stuff). I had some friends over to play games on Sunday night and I'd say it was a rollicking success. I sculpted the phrase "talk to the hand" out of play-doh. And I got to draw Bono.
CFLs: do not work in my living room light fixture. They flicker and flash like it's some kind of roller-disco rave all up in here. (it isn't) What the heck is up with that? They're even the ones that are supposed to be flicker-free. I've tried two different brands already. I want to be able to put my ladder away.
13.1: miles, that is. I did the P.F. Chang's Rock 'n' Roll Arizona Half Marathon (now there's a title for you) this past Sunday. My cousin drove down from Flagstaff and filled in the slot reserved for the still-recovering htd. We trekked the 13.1 together and had a pretty darn good time. And now I am sore.
Games: namely, Speed Uno (which apparently Bea calls Killer Uno, which was the starting point for the unimaginably complicated World War Uno) and Cranium Pop 5 (it's kind of like regular Cranium, but all the questions have to do with popular culture stuff). I had some friends over to play games on Sunday night and I'd say it was a rollicking success. I sculpted the phrase "talk to the hand" out of play-doh. And I got to draw Bono.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Albert Einstein Thinks I'm Insane
You know, 'cause I do the same things over and over and expect different results.
I should probably work on that.
Anyway, so you know that phenomenon when you hear something once and then for the next couple of days or weeks or whatever, you hear that same thing ALL THE TIME? That happened to me a while back with the Kobayashi Maru. And it happened to me yesterday with the phrase "Hump Day." I seriously heard about 9 people referring to Wednesday as Hump Day, the ranks of which included: my dad, a radio host, a news anchor, a coworker, and a girl in my small group. I haven't heard that phrase in probably a year and then BAM! ("A bus?")
Most of the lights in my kitchen and all of the lights in my living room are burned out. I'm going to have to drag the giant extend-o-ladder in here to try to change the bulbs. FREAKING TALL CEILINGS. Cccclllll.
And finally, Scrubs' use of the Death Cab for Cutie song "I Will Follow You into the Dark" (from Season 8 episode 2) is quite possibly one of television's best-ever uses of a song as it relates to the moment. Any other nominations?
I should probably work on that.
Anyway, so you know that phenomenon when you hear something once and then for the next couple of days or weeks or whatever, you hear that same thing ALL THE TIME? That happened to me a while back with the Kobayashi Maru. And it happened to me yesterday with the phrase "Hump Day." I seriously heard about 9 people referring to Wednesday as Hump Day, the ranks of which included: my dad, a radio host, a news anchor, a coworker, and a girl in my small group. I haven't heard that phrase in probably a year and then BAM! ("A bus?")
Most of the lights in my kitchen and all of the lights in my living room are burned out. I'm going to have to drag the giant extend-o-ladder in here to try to change the bulbs. FREAKING TALL CEILINGS. Cccclllll.
And finally, Scrubs' use of the Death Cab for Cutie song "I Will Follow You into the Dark" (from Season 8 episode 2) is quite possibly one of television's best-ever uses of a song as it relates to the moment. Any other nominations?
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Sunday Snippet
I had totally forgotten about this and it made me bust out laughing.
My sister bought herself an iPod a few years ago. If you buy directly from their website, Apple lets you add an engraved message on the back for free. Haley spent quite a bit of time thinking about what she would put on hers and came up with the best engraving in the history of ever.
The back of her iPod reads: Thou shalt not steal.
Yeah. She's pretty awesome.
My sister bought herself an iPod a few years ago. If you buy directly from their website, Apple lets you add an engraved message on the back for free. Haley spent quite a bit of time thinking about what she would put on hers and came up with the best engraving in the history of ever.
The back of her iPod reads: Thou shalt not steal.
Yeah. She's pretty awesome.
Thursday, January 08, 2009
Driving Pet Peeve
vicariously vindicated.
I think I am a pretty patient driver. I understand there are a lot of people trying to get to a lot of different places at generally the same time every day, so I try to just go with the flow. However, there's one thing that really gets me into some serious in-car yelling: I absolutely hate it when you're sitting in a long line of cars crawling along while waiting to exit the freeway (an exit that has been marked for three miles preceding, no less) and a car zooms along in one of the other lanes all the way up to the front of the line and forces their way in. Oh it makes me so ANGRY. It's like, seriously, didn't your mother ever teach you it's rude to cut in line?? There's a point where it crosses over from "just trying to merge" to "just being an ass."
Anyway, as usual, I was sitting in the exit lane on the 51 that leads onto the 202 this evening. My fellow drivers and I had been inching along for about 7 or 8 minutes, covering maybe half a mile of freeway in that time. As I got within 9 or 10 car-lengths of the ascending exit ramp, a little red car went zooming by on my left. I knew what was coming. As he reached the front of the line, he flipped on his turn signal and began swerving at the packed lane of cars trying to get in. I sat in the Fit muttering "don't let him in. come on people, don't do it. hold your ground." And for the first time I've ever witnessed, they DIDN'T LET HIM IN! I was so happy. Mr. Douche-y-Cuts-in-Line continued on down the 51 South, his right turn signal blinking futilely in the evening light. Yesssss.
Hm. I might be somewhat tired and hungry on my drive home...
I think I am a pretty patient driver. I understand there are a lot of people trying to get to a lot of different places at generally the same time every day, so I try to just go with the flow. However, there's one thing that really gets me into some serious in-car yelling: I absolutely hate it when you're sitting in a long line of cars crawling along while waiting to exit the freeway (an exit that has been marked for three miles preceding, no less) and a car zooms along in one of the other lanes all the way up to the front of the line and forces their way in. Oh it makes me so ANGRY. It's like, seriously, didn't your mother ever teach you it's rude to cut in line?? There's a point where it crosses over from "just trying to merge" to "just being an ass."
Anyway, as usual, I was sitting in the exit lane on the 51 that leads onto the 202 this evening. My fellow drivers and I had been inching along for about 7 or 8 minutes, covering maybe half a mile of freeway in that time. As I got within 9 or 10 car-lengths of the ascending exit ramp, a little red car went zooming by on my left. I knew what was coming. As he reached the front of the line, he flipped on his turn signal and began swerving at the packed lane of cars trying to get in. I sat in the Fit muttering "don't let him in. come on people, don't do it. hold your ground." And for the first time I've ever witnessed, they DIDN'T LET HIM IN! I was so happy. Mr. Douche-y-Cuts-in-Line continued on down the 51 South, his right turn signal blinking futilely in the evening light. Yesssss.
Hm. I might be somewhat tired and hungry on my drive home...
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
The Latest Installment Of...
Tuesday Tunes!
I've come across quite a bit of good music lately, so I thought I'd share the love. A little of what I've been listening to:
band name - album name (song I recommend you start with/video if available)
The Low Anthem - Oh My God, Charlie Darwin (Charlie Darwin)
Fleet Foxes - Fleet Foxes (White Winter Hymnal)
Anathallo - Canopy Glow (The River)
The Whispertown 2000 - Swim (Old Times)
And, just because I don't think I mentioned it way back when... Quite possibly the most beautiful commercial I've ever seen. Someone may have posted this before...I can't remember. Anyway, a commercial featuring:
Jose Gonzalez - Veneer (Heartbeats)
If it seems like something you'd like to watch, I recommend you click here to go to the YouTube page and watch the high def version (just below the video time counter, click the "watch in HD" link.) It's lovely.
There used to be a really crystal clear version out there, but I can't seem to find it tonight.
Enjoy. :)
I've come across quite a bit of good music lately, so I thought I'd share the love. A little of what I've been listening to:
band name - album name (song I recommend you start with/video if available)
The Low Anthem - Oh My God, Charlie Darwin (Charlie Darwin)
Fleet Foxes - Fleet Foxes (White Winter Hymnal)
Anathallo - Canopy Glow (The River)
The Whispertown 2000 - Swim (Old Times)
And, just because I don't think I mentioned it way back when... Quite possibly the most beautiful commercial I've ever seen. Someone may have posted this before...I can't remember. Anyway, a commercial featuring:
Jose Gonzalez - Veneer (Heartbeats)
If it seems like something you'd like to watch, I recommend you click here to go to the YouTube page and watch the high def version (just below the video time counter, click the "watch in HD" link.) It's lovely.
There used to be a really crystal clear version out there, but I can't seem to find it tonight.
Enjoy. :)
Friday, January 02, 2009
Sigh.
I dunno.
Anyway.
My water heater broke a couple days ago. Fantastic. Hooray for home warranties, though. Thanks to Home Warranty of America (they rock. tell your friends.), there is a shiny new water heater sitting in my garage and I can, you know, shower again and stuff.
Htd and I freaked out the plumber. He didn't realize there were two of us and did the biggest double-take I've ever witnessed when I walked out of my bedroom and he was in the kitchen talking to htd, who had just gotten home from work (apparently he thought he was talking to me).
I'm trying to decide whose singing voice I like better: Zooey Deschanel or Felicia Day. Thoughts?
Anyway.
My water heater broke a couple days ago. Fantastic. Hooray for home warranties, though. Thanks to Home Warranty of America (they rock. tell your friends.), there is a shiny new water heater sitting in my garage and I can, you know, shower again and stuff.
Htd and I freaked out the plumber. He didn't realize there were two of us and did the biggest double-take I've ever witnessed when I walked out of my bedroom and he was in the kitchen talking to htd, who had just gotten home from work (apparently he thought he was talking to me).
I'm trying to decide whose singing voice I like better: Zooey Deschanel or Felicia Day. Thoughts?
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