The Update

In the spirit of keeping y'all in the loop, here's an update on where things stand with the GD MS. I had my second opinion appointment last week. Thanks to some string-pulling by the amazingly kind higher-ups here at work, I was able to get in to see the specialist at the Mayo Clinic two days after the call was made. That is some magical stuff right there; you don't get in to see a general neurologist in less than a month, let alone a specialist at a world-class establishment. Another reason to be thankful despite all the awfulness.

Have you ever had a neurological exam? You feel like a freaking genius the entire time. Walk to the door and back? No worries, I've got this. Tell you when the buzzing from the tuning fork pressed against my big toe stops? Don't mind if I do. Touch my nose with my eyes closed? Nailed it. (...it's funny until that potential day when I can't do that anymore...[sad trumpet]) After a very thorough neurological workup and review of all the test results I brought with me, the specialists said exactly what I didn't want to hear, but exactly what I was expecting: total agreement across the board. Diagnosis, outlook, treatments, all of it.

So, I've made my decision. In the spirit of doing everything I can to stay as healthy as possible for as long as possible, I'll start medications in October. Theoretically I could start sooner (as soon as two weeks from now), but I have a lot of traveling coming up in September and I don't want to be on a boat in the middle of nowhere having some crazy reaction to a brand new medication. So I'm giving myself the next six weeks to live a normal life (whatever that is). Then in October I'll start my new normal; one that includes daily injections, possible lumps and divots in my skin, and the constant fear of that next episode (When will it hit? How bad will it be? What will be affected this time? My hands? My legs? My eyes?) hanging over my head. But one that also includes hope. Hope that this course of action will give me more time as...me. Just Kristen. Not Kristen-dealing-with-MS. And hope that it will give doctors and researchers the time to come up with...something. A better drug with fewer side-effects. A less-invasive delivery system. A cure.

I turned 30 two days ago. I'm staring into this new decade with a lot of unknowns; my life could look wildly different ten years from now, for better or worse. The only thing I can absolutely control is my attitude, so I'm determined to do my best to have a good one. The rest of it is in God's hands; I believe that's a pretty safe place to be.