I Know Funny People

I also know funny, people.

And this fb exchange between some of my friends today is funny. Period.

Copaxone Flame In My Fat Cells

sing that ^^ like this, obviously.

(Admittedly it doesn't have the same ring to it, but it's more applicable to my life experience.)

About three weeks ago, I started my treatment protocol for the GD MS. Of all my stellar options [eye roll goes here], I sucked it up and chose the one that (potentially) affects my apparent vanity more than my quality of life: the daily injection with the most typical side-effect being injection-site reactions, including temporary lumps and permanent divots caused by fat cell destruction. For me, it was an infinitely more reasonable choice than spending my weekends on the couch with flu-like symptoms, but tell me that come shorts season! ...wait a minute. I don't wear shorts (outside of triathlons). Ah, and now you've had a little glimpse into my decision-making process.

The first shipment arrived on a Tuesday via overnight express, on ice, in a box about the size of your average over-the-range microwave. Opening this enormous box was not unlike disassembling one of those Russian nesting dolls, although the layers of packaging and boxes within boxes resulted in a 30-day supply of injectable medication instead of a tiny wooden figure of Mikhail Gorbachev, a decidedly less-delightful culmination of events.

The pharmaceutical company sent a nurse out to my house to show me how to do the injections. She is a really sweet lady who sort of reminded me of my mom, if a little older and rounder - and it turned out she is from Nebraska originally, because of course she is. She spent about two hours covering all the information and asking lots of questions, one of which was whether I was stressed at all when I first experienced my symptoms. I sort of laughed and told her I was in the middle of training for my first Ironman, so yeah, I was a little stressed. She went on to explain about the seven injection locations, which she described as The Fatty Areas: upper arms, stomach, hips, and thighs. Then, suddenly, she stopped and said "Oh! We might have a problem. Here, sit down and stick out your leg." What the...? But I did, and she proceeded to squeeze up and down the front of my thigh. I stared at her. Then she sat back and said, with a tone of utter relief, a tone that implied she was giving me an unimaginable gift, "Oh good. I was afraid that since you do these Ironman things that you wouldn't have enough fat on your thighs to do a subcutaneous injection, but you do!" What a weird way to kick me when I'm down.

Speaking of my fat, the injection device I use has a dial that controls how much of the needle goes into your skin based on how much fat you have to work with; a 5, the shallowest depth, means you are very lean, a 10, the deepest, means you are... very not. After explaining this, Nurse Sunshine eyeballed me up and down and said, "We're going to start you with a..." not ten not ten not ten "...hmm, let's try an 8." Whew. And, just so you know, by the end of it all, she decided that I should back it off to a 7.5, so...ha? I don't know. I'm looking for the bright side here.

So anyway, it's been three weeks and things seem to be going well. I do get the lumps, but they seem to go away after a day or so and, thanks to my apparently ample fat supply, they don't seem to show. Another one of those mixed blessings, I guess. And the needle itself doesn't hurt, but when the medication starts dispersing through the subcutaneous tissue (read: fat cells) it does burn a good deal for about 20 minutes or so (hence my kickass blog post title). So that's the plan for the foreseeable future. Honestly, all things considered, it could be much worse, and I am staying positive.

But really, FDA, let's hurry it up with that pill option.

Adventure On The High Seas

if "adventure" means "reading a book," and also "sleeping."

September 22nd - October 1st: Caribbean Cruise!

• Day 1 - Flew to Philadelphia on a red eye flight with Cassie.
• Day 2 - Flew to San Juan, Puerto Rico. Checked in on our ship, then walked around Old San Juan for the next several hours. Searched for free WiFi, took pictures, and ate unknown foods. Re-boarded ship and attended the mandatory safety muster. Ship pulled away from the pier at 10pm.
• Day 3 - Woke up in St. Thomas and began what would become our routine for the rest of the week: hit up the gym (where we see, at most, three other people), eat lunch at the Lido Deck buffet (where we marvel at the horrifying desserts), get off the ship and find a beach (where we rent an umbrella and beach chairs and read). Our first beach was BEAUTIFUL, and was the standard by which we judged all subsequent beaches.
• Day 4 - Woke up in the middle of the ocean. This was our day at sea as the ship made its way to the southernmost port on our journey. Gym, lunch, decktop reading. Had our first Elegant Evening, where everyone was expected to fancy up for dinner. We giggled at the people taking very serious, prom-style photos in front of cheesy photo backdrops of things like columns, cruise ships, and sunsets (let's all remember that there was a spectacular sunset RIGHT OUTSIDE).
• Day 5 - Woke up in Barbados. Gym, lunch, beach. And expensive chairs. And rain. And creepy and/or annoying men trying to sell us stuff and/or chat us up, the smarmiest of whom was named "Falcon. Like the bird." Hookay. After giving it a solid two hours (because, come on! We're in Barbados!), the majority of which was spent huddled under our umbrella as the wind blew and the rain poured down, I couldn't take it anymore, so we left. Not impressed with Barbados. Sorry, Rihanna.
• Day 6 - Woke up in St. Lucia. This was the location of our one and only shore excursion, a decidedly mediocre couple hours of ziplining. Watch the first 10 minutes of this and you'll see an uncanny representation of our day. Another Elegant Evening.
• Day 7 - Woke up in St. Kitts. Gym, lunch, beach. A much better oceanside experience than the last one. In addition to a reasonably priced beach chair/umbrella combo, we were afforded some free entertainment by the local gentleman who was in charge of collecting money for the chairs. Clinton was somewhere between 30 and 60, had spectacular dreadlocks, was as ripped as it is possible to be, just BURSTING with energy... and wearing the tiniest shorts you can imagine, over the top of some baggy grey briefs. Clinton spent the entire time running back and forth in front of the line of beach chairs, microshorts and megabriefs and...other things...flapping in the breeze. He did walking handstands and kicked around a tennis ball and chatted up the girls in the water and generally drew as much attention to himself as he could, while Cassie and I studiously kept our eyes on our Kindles and shot each other "are you seeing this?" side-eyes. Back on the ship, we attended a Towel Folding Workshop, where we learned how to make animals out of bath towels because that is awesome.
• Day 8 - Woke up in St. Maarten. Gym, lunch, beach. Ohhhhhhh, the beach. This. THIS was what we had been waiting for. Warm, turquoise blue water. Powdery white sand. No interruptions, no wind, no rain; just pure bliss. Le sigh.
• Day 9 - Woke up in San Juan. We debarked, sat at the airport for 7 hours, flew to Chicago, ate at Giordano's and spent a short night at a hotel.
• Day 10 - Woke up in Chicago (at 3am). Flew to Phoenix. Cassie drove back up the mountain, and we both went to work.

Conclusion: I had a fabulous time, mostly due to the relaxation and the company (and the 24-hour self-serve ice cream machine). Would I do it again? Probably not. Cruises (this particular cruise, anyway) are kind of like Las Vegas on the ocean; it seemed like the majority of the entertainment revolved around drinking and partying and gambling, which isn't really my scene. Plus there was the guilt of rolling up to these impoverished islands in this big-ass ship all "We're here! Entertain us and let us swarm your shops and beaches! 'Merica!" I dunno. I'd rather pick an island (St. Maarten!) and pick a beach (Dawn Beach!) and just stay there for a week and relax and explore the local culture. But still, it really was a fun trip. Hooray for amazing traveling companions.

Bonus: For funsies during our week of being away from phone/internet connections, Cassie and I kept track of all the things we wondered, but were not able to Google. Here is that list:

• Where am I? (on a map)
• How much should I tip?
• What is Mofongo? What is the difference between Alcofongo and Mofongo?
• What time does the sun rise?
• What is langoustine?
• How would we send for help if we were stranded at one of the ports?
• What constitutes a chutney?
• What is basa?
• When did the Titanic sink?
• What is espresso con panna?
• What beach do we go to in Barbados (or any of the islands, really)?
• How do you say "I don't understand." in German?
• How many kids does Matt Damon have?
• Is Margaret Thatcher dead?
• Do dudes (other than Clinton) wear underwear under their swimsuits?
• Are cruise desserts notoriously bad?
• What is the difference between a hurricane and a typhoon?
• Is there a nationality where most names start with a solitary I?

The Space Between

between my trips, that is.

September 12th - 22nd: The Happenings.

• Got my oven fixed.
• Got my garbage disposal fixed.

That's it. Not every stretch of time can be a winner.

Up Next: Adventure on the high seas.

Have I Told You Lately

um... anything?

September 1st - 11th: Road Trip! (in as few words as possible)
On September 1st, 2012, an epic journey began. It included 3000 miles of flying, 2300+ miles of driving, $246 in gas, 197(+/-) illustrated ponies/unicorns/pegasuses (pegasi?), 11 states, 9 families (with 15 kids and 4 more on the way), 4 half marathon training runs, 2 turtledoves, and a car trip in a Honda Accord.

• Day 1 - Flew to Atlanta. Stayed with Will and Sarah (and Sophia, Lucy, and Evan). SO good to see them and reconnect after six (!) years. Love them.
• Day 2 - Drew a pickle and a leaf. Met up with Alissa and Demis (and Sacha) for lunch and spent the rest of the day with them. Had a tiny tea party with Sacha and watched Dexter (NOT with Sacha). Then Bea showed up (yay!) and we headed to Nashville.
• Day 3 - Drove to Chicago. Stayed with Robert (and Zach, Margot, and Meredith). Kathy and Sean came over for a big cookout; there were many meats.
• Day 4 - Ran in the morning. Hit up Gino's East for lunch, then saw The Avengers with Kathy & Sean. Bea went to Zach's football game while the rest of us went to dinner. Explored the river walk.
• Day 5 - Breakfast with Robert. Drove to Wheaton College to go to chapel with Mitch, where Ravi Zacharias was speaking that day. Lunch with the Tomkins, farewell to the kids, then off to Fort Wayne, Indiana to see Aunnee & Heath (and Jonathan).
• Day 6 - Went for a run, made brownies, and relaxed. A good day.
• Day 7 - Went for a 7-mile run (woo!), spent some time chasing Jon around the yard, and watched Studio 60. Aunnee made amazing food, as usual.
• Day 8 - Drove to Chapel Hill. Stopped in Athens, Ohio to eat lunch at O'Betty's Red Hot, a hot dog museum/restaurant. All of this pales in comparison, however, to our kickass dinner companion: Wayne! It was so great to finally meet him in real life! He is exactly how I thought he'd be, which is to say he is awesome. That night we stayed with Jaime and Jo (and Adele and Evie) in their lovely new home.
• Day 9 - Attended Greenleaf (a long-awaited first for me), where we saw Rodger and Angela (and Garrett). Spent more time with Wayne, and then spent the afternoon drawing ponies (and unicorns...and pegasuses (pegasi?)) with the girls. Went to dinner and the park with the whole crew.
• Day 10 - Drew some (more) ponies with Evie, then ate lunch with the Garretts. Drove to Augusta, where we stayed with Mike and Meghan (and Hallie, Reese, Will and Avery).
• Day 11 - Ran in the morning. Drew two (MORE) ponies and one Diego. Rocked the bookstore and lunch, said goodbye to Bea (boo.), and then caught the shuttle back to Atlanta. Flew home, and slept in my bed for the first time all month. Holy moly.

Up Next: The space between...

Encouraging News

C'mon, FDA!

This was in the news a few days ago:

Pill Found Promising in Treatment of M.S.

Clinical trials indicate that BG-12, developed by Biogen Idec, may be safer and more effective than existing treatments for patients in the early stages of the disease.  Full NYT article can be found here.

I mean, it's not approved yet or anything, but just knowing things like this are on the horizon is so encouraging to me. I still have to start my injectable medication next month, but maybe someday soon that won't be my only option.

As a side note, this pin caught my eye today.

For serious. Why's it always gotta be "temporary flushing and warm feeling and gastrointestinal symptoms including nausea, diarrhea, cramping, and vomiting?" Why can't the flushing and warm feelings and gastrointestinal distress happen to other people as they get all hot and bothered by my brand new, medication-induced sexiness?

You Are What You Hear

Do you agree?

NPR had a great article a few weeks ago that discussed music and what our individual "life soundtrack" says about us. The article was inspired by a British study called Six Songs of Me, an attempt to find out what songs are meaningful to people and why we like what we like. The songs they're interested in fall into six categories. My answers follow.

What was the first song CD you ever bought? (I absolutely bought cassette tapes when I was younger but I can't remember any of them, which is probably my brain subconsciously protecting my ego. So I'm going with CDs.)

Oh jeez, do you guys remember Columbia House mail-order music? My brother was a member back in 1996 and let me choose five albums to round out his "Buy One Get 11 Free" or whatever it was, so long as I chipped in to help pay the absurd cost of the One we had to Buy. What were High School Freshman Kristen's first compact disc selections, you ask?

• Wallflowers, Bringing Down the Horse

• Blues Traveler, Four

• No Doubt, Tragic Kingdom

• Boyz II Men, II

• Evita: The Complete Motion Picture Soundtrack (...I am a complex lady)

What song always gets you dancing?

I...don't dance. At least not without some sort of BOGO drink special. But a song that makes me feel like dancing? "We No Speak Americano" by Yolanda Be Cool & DCUP. Or, you know, Party Rock Anthem. No shame.

What song takes you back to your childhood?

"Don't Worry, Be Happy" by Bobby McFerrin.
Plus anything from Eric Clapton's Unplugged. Also, oldies music from the 60s and 70s for sure. My mom's radio preference was all oldies all the time, so that's ALL I listened to for the first 10 or 12 years of my life. I bet you $5 I know the words to more oldies songs than you do.

What is your perfect love song?

"Gotta Have You" by The Weepies.
Le sigh.

What song would you want at your funeral?

Oh I'm totally going to have to go with Imogen Heap's "Hide and Seek." Two reasons: First, the majority of people will be all, "Wow, what a cool song. She had really awesome taste in music. Now I am going to miss her even more." But most importantly, it will begin playing and htd will immediately burst into hysterical laughter, which will be a nice break from the tears. I mean seriously, it's my funeral. She's gonna be sad. It's the least I can do.

Time for an encore. One last song that makes you, you.

"Living On The Outside Of Your Skin" by Cloud Cult.
Take your broken pieces and use them
Use them for protection. Use them for protection.
Take your strong pieces and use them
For living on the outside of your skin. 

Story of my life.

Play along! What would your songs be?