My Sister Is Cooler Than Your Sister.

Really, she is.


Thanks for listening when I'm blue, htd.

I was thisclose to spewing molten crazy all over you, but I wouldn't want you to die like *this* (here you have to imagine yourself frozen in astonished horror...and solidified magma).
Yay Scrubs.

Love love.

Sustenance Stereotypes

wtf, you guys?

So Monday is the Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday. Today at work we all got an e-mail from the hospital cafeteria today announcing that, in honor of the occasion, the cafeteria will be offering a special menu. The items on the menu include things like...fried chicken. okra. collard greens. sweet potato pie. ...you get the picture.

Um, yeah.

I can kinda sorta see where they were thinking this would be a nice culinary tribute to the memory of a great man. But it just seems a bit...iffy...to me. I mean, I could maybe get on board with a menu of items like, I dunno, Equality Eggplant Parmesan and Free-at-last Frittatas or something. But is it just me, or does anyone else think their proposed menu seems a bit...oh...stereotypical?

Hm.

I'm Really Just A Grammar Nerd At Heart

because this made me laugh out loud. Verily.

Props to Xavier.

Mad props indeed.

This guy's lyrics are just fantastic.

Partnership
by: Xavier Rudd

you had so many opportunities
so much time, so much space, so much room to breathe
and you

so much time inside when you put it aside you waste it
so much time inside when you put it aside you waste it
you see your fortune lie you can decide to wake it
so much time inside when you put it aside you waste it

and she will come and take your hand
she will help you understand
she will help you understand
and she will lead you to your peace
in times when you feel weak
in times when you are weak
and when your space it feels deranged
she will hold the key to change
she will offer the key to change
so be sure when she whispers in your ear
that she will chase away those fears
then she will chase away those fears.

on your journey be proud of what you seek
and your love for he or she
for they will help you feel complete

Seriously, I had the hardest time picking which song I wanted to put up the lyrics to - they are all just amazing. It's not often that song lyrics can stand on their own and be just as good without the music. Not to mention this guy plays all--and I do mean all--of the instruments on his cd and in his live performances. For his shows he has this whole "one-man-band" contraption set up with something like 14 instruments (including the didgeridoo - he's from Australia, you guys). He's like this Aussie hybrid combination of Ben Harper, Jack Johnson, and Dave Matthews Band.

Awesomeness.

Sometimes Anaphylaxis Is Just Nature's Way Of Telling You To Brush Up On Those Observational Skills

Seriously, people.

Why is it that things I buy at Walmart spark these types of posts? So I was waiting in line at Walmart today doing what any normal person does whilst waiting: surreptitiously reading the front covers of the tabloids while kinda trying not to look like I was reading them. After I'd taken a good look at the very first published pictures from Hell (people swimming in a lake of fire with a big fire waterfall pouring into it - Weekly World News, you guys), I began perusing the shelves o' crap near the register.

This is the place where you find all that stuff you didn't even know you needed. Impulse purchases reign supreme--battery powered personal body hair trimmers, jumbo-sized heavy duty Zip-loc baggies, 3-packs of travel tissues, large colorful translucent-plastic parrots (just kidding about the bird - you can only get those at I Love Lucite). They also boast a large selection of snack items. A small bag of pistachios caught my eye and I tossed them in the cart.
Upon returning home, I sorted and put away my grocery items. In honor of my new commitment to eating healthfully, I took a glance at the nutrition information on my bag o' nuts. The red allergen alert label caught my eye.
What the crap? Um yes, I would imagine that my bag of pistachios does indeed contain pistachios. Well spotted.

Now, I can understand why, say, on a can of soda they would put the phrase "Phenylketonurics: Contains Phenylalanine." Because unless you're drinking the new Diet Cherry Phenylalanine Coke, you're not necessarily going to know that your beverage contains a substance that may cause an adverse reaction for some people. But this bag of pistachios, on the other hand...the signs are basically roundhouse kicking you in the face. In addition to the ingredients line reading "Ingredients: Dry Roasted Pistachios, Salt.", you have three--count them, One, Two, Three--visual clues that the food product you have purchased does in fact contain pistachios.

1. Title: Premium Pistachios.
2. Illustration: Softly colored rendering of pistachios.
3. Actual Pistachios: Transparent wrapper clearly displays pistachio nuts.

I'm sure the nut company put this disclaimer on their packaging to avoid being sued by an "unaware" consumer. But really, if the notice wasn't there and they did get sued, couldn't they just like, I don't know, bring in a bag of nuts as Exhibit A, point out the ingredients line and items 1, 2, and 3, and boom. Trial over. Nut company cleared of all charges. Money-hungry consumer looks like fool.

Maybe it's just me.

And for the record, I think it's ridiculous that fast food places have to put "Caution: HOT" on their hot beverage cups. "What, you mean you guys sold me hot coffee? Why didn't you warn me? Don't you know how dangerous that is? What's next: McThrowingStars in your Happy Meals?"

Living in Phoenix

instead of just livinginphoenix. (wordup, Bea)

That's the goal for 2007, you guys. I've been here over six months now and I'd say it's high time that I get out there and do something. Quit sitting in my apartment waiting for life to happen. Meet some people. Try some new things. Live life and whatnot. And that scares the crap out of me. But here goes.

Tomorrow I start the healthy eating thing.
(this will begin the shrinking of my sizeable ass.)

Saturday I look for an elliptical machine.
(this will lead to me getting back into shape. Did you know I used to run three miles a day? HOh yeah. It's been awhile.)

Sunday I try out a new church.
(this will lead to me finding a church home, instead of a place where I feel obligated to go every week.)

Yikes. But also I'm kind of excited...it feels good to start making changes that I know need to be made.

Top 5 items from Christmas break:
1. Ice storms that left my hometown looking like a frigid tornado of destruction ripped through it. (descriptive, no?)
2. Playing Trivial Pursuit and watching Scrubs with my sister and cousin Cassie on Christmas Day. (you'll have to imagine what Cassie looks like)
3. Hanging out with Jerilyn, and Aunnee & Heathy-poo.
4. Spending time with my brother and sister-in-law at their house in Omaha. (I didn't take any pictures of them together over break, so this is from their wedding a few years ago.)
5. Sitting in the living room talking to my parents like the old days.

Love you guys.

One Slash One Slash Oh Seven

Happy New Year!

I'm finally back to the blogging world. Lots to tell, but I'm tired so this'll be a fast one. More soon.

1. Sixty-one: i HEART desert weather in the winter. After three days of ice storms and snow, I think I shed a little tear when I heard the pilot welcome my flight to Phoenix and state that the local temperature was 61 degrees. Oh bliss.
2. Flashback: I'm listening to Imogen Heap right now and she is hardcore taking me back to last January. I love it when that happens.
3. Victory: "crap."crap." "JINX!" Stunned (and required) silence. BWAAAAHAHAHA!

Don't worry about number three.