Chinese gum and YAAAAMS!

So my parents just got back from two weeks in China, where they mixed and mingled in a new culture and worked towards setting up a student exchange between the University of Nebraska at Kearney and a Chinese university. Their sojourn to this foreign nation afforded me some lovely little birthday presents, Chinese-style. No throwing stars or anything, but along with a fanfreakingtastic purse and wallet, they sent some Chinese candy. Alongside the peanut M&Ms with Chinese letters on the wrapper, there was this one mysterious gum-shaped package with pictures of coffee cups on it. Sure enough, it was coffee-flavored gum. I was intrigued.

I mean come on, coffee-flavored gum. Not exactly an intuitive combination. Usually you chew gum to get rid of the coffee breath. I remember my art teacher in high school, Mrs. Babbitt, she had the worst coffee breath you can imagine. She'd come over to critique a project and the students would automatically lean six inches in the opposite direction. We liked her anyway. Anyway.

After settling down comfortably on my couch, I unwrapped a stick and began chewing the tan-with-dark-brown-flecks stick of gum. Chew chew chew...chew........chew... Huh.

First thought: What the mother of crap is up with this stuff?? Oh God. Is it gum, is it food? What's the deal?

Then, as the initial burst of coffee flavor began to fade: Oh, it's nice. I think I'll have another one.

It kind of reminded me of this Dutch candy, Hopjes. (actually pronounced "(insert spit-rattling, phlegmmy-H noise here)uup-yas", but my Americano friend Kyeathy and I call them "Hop-jeez"). Hopjes are actually hard candies, but they taste the same.

As for the YAAAAMS! ("Oh Will. But you-you've worked so hard.") For the past few days, I've been smelling something a little...off...every time I'd walk towards my kitchen. I thought it might be the garbage can so I scrubbed it out and sprayed it with lysol and all...but still the smell persisted. Well, as I was searching through my ridiculously deep cupboards for a box of brown rice today, my hand encountered something...soft. Yeah. I had come across a six-week-old, liquefied sweet potato, still in it's little produce baggie. Um. Gross.