Pet Peeves: Internet Edition

Part Two in the Pet Peeves series.

From the original edition: Because it's fun to be annoyed by things, I am starting a series about things that annoy me. I'm splitting them up into different editions because I don't want to seem like a great big complainer, even if that does, in fact, turn out to be what I am. This is not an exhaustive list (though some of you might find it to be an exhausTING list). Here we go!

People who type in all caps

I'm 100% certain I'm not alone in my hatred of the caps lock addicts. For some reason, the perpetrators seem to be mostly middle-aged women and horrible internet comment trolls. I don't understand the rationale behind choosing to type that way. I mean, who sits down and pecks out "I'M SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS" and doesn't immediately realize how ridiculous that looks? I think we should all agree to spend any conversations with an All Caps Typist yelling our half of the dialogue until they acknowledge the folly of their ways.

The misuse of your vs. you're

Oh, my sweet melting brain. I will overlook a multitude of grammatical sins--indeed, I'm sure I myself am guilty of a multitude of grammatical sins (perhaps even in this very sentence)--but misusing the word "your" drives me absolutely bonkers. In the immortal words of Ross Gellar, "Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means "you are." Y-O-U-R means your!" Come on, people. Get it together.

Vague status updates/tweets/what have you 

"I can't believe that just happened to me."
Okay, buddy, clearly you want some attention.  You know the result of a post like that is going to be six or seven people you haven't talked to since high school asking "Oh no, what's wrong?" If you want the attention, that's fine--I'm pretty sure that's what social media is all about--but don't make it so obvious. What happened to you? Did you spill your grande no-foam extra-hot 2-pump-vanilla soy latte or were you robbed at gunpoint? Specify. Then you will get the attention and commiseration you are looking for, and it will cut out the unnecessary middle step of your Great Aunt Susie asking "WHAT HAPPENED JOE???? I HOPE YOUR OK." (see what I did there?)

Website ads on Google results

Say I'm searching for something on Google. I type in my search terms and it spits out my About 41,300,000 results in 0.16 seconds. The first couple of results are typically "ads related to [search term]." Even if it is exactly the thing I'm looking for, and is the exact same web address as the regular link displayed below, I never, ever click on the ad link. I don't know why it bothers me. It's admittedly ridiculous. But that's the thing about pet peeves, isn't it?  Not all of them are logical.

When people elongate the wrong part of a word

"I'm ssssssso tiredddddd." "I can't waittttttttt." No. Just no. Attention t(w)een girls: if you're going to elongate a word for emphasis or comic effect and you're not sure which key to hold down, here's a hint: pick a vowel.

RIP

How hard is it to write out "rest in peace?" RIP makes me think of a cobwebby, moonlit tombstone in some kind of cheesy old horror movie, not the sincere sentiment that is usually intended. You're not chiseling the letters out of a hunk of granite one painstaking chip at a time, so don't be lazy with your wishes for the deceased.

What are YOUR internet pet peeves? People who write weekly blog summaries of their Ironman training? People who come up with lists of pet peeves?

Look for the next post in the series - Pet Peeves: Ironman Edition